Saturday, 13 December 2014

Things My Dog Has Eaten

Not necessarily in order.
Some numbers are estimates based on how we feel about him.

1 raw steak
1 raw chicken breast
1 raw pound of hamburger
3 pairs of jeans
7 pairs of Kim's dress shoes
13,876 pieces of tupperware
429 tennis balls
87 pairs of socks
54 pairs of underwear
1 package of SOS pads
3 picture frames
EVERY pen ever brought into the house
EVERY pencil ever brought into the house
1 wallet
1 ATM card
3 plastic bowls
1 skirt
6 pillows
38 books
1 pair of eye glasses
3 towels
1 arm of a recliner
The entire lower half of my computer chair
26 tin cans
47,963 cardboard boxes
1 ipod
2 internet cables
6 pounds of cat food
My daughter's homework
1 basketball (it's still here, just looks like a deflated dodge ball now)
1 spatula
6 wooden spoons (average lifespan - 1 day)
The entire lining from the underside of the couch
1 XBox game
2 leashes
16 dish scrubbies
1 bottle of ketchup (that was fun)
1 can of tomato sauce
13 two litre pop bottles
1 newspaper reporter (attempted really)
1 wasp
19 flies
6 rolls of toilet paper
5 rolls of paper towels
Everyone's right arm
2 pairs of slippers
And the partridge that used to be in the pear tree. Sorry kids.

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