Sunday, 30 October 2016

Chivalry is Dead

For the past six or seven months I've been doing a night job involving people and alcohol. Lots of alcohol. I won't say much more than that because I don't want to actually tell anyone what I'm doing, as I have a privacy agreement in place that I will not break. So how 'bout you just don't ask, kay?

Suffice it to say, it's completely legal, and quite helpful. Nuff said.

I've never worked customer service before, I never manned a drive-thru, never ran a cash register, never cleaned up aisle three. I'm green with dealing with people, and anyone who knows me well would conclude that I'd just rather not. People are inherently dumb and I would like to avoid them at all costs. Suddenly, I have to deal with an astonishing level of dumb nightly. It takes an amazing level of self-control to maintain myself sometimes and not get myself canned.

Let's just say I've seen some shit. Serious shit. Wow level shit. And I've drawn a few conclusions about this job: First, reasoning with a drunk person is like arguing with an area rug, secondly, drunk people think society is a hedonistic nudist colony, thirdly, everything must be decided by some sort of MME style smackdown. In short, drunks can be assholes. On the other side of the coin, they can be funny as fuck, which is why I'm sticking around.

Now on to why I'm telling you this.

Last night I saw what really happens to someone when you add the right amount of booze, instant asshole, just add alcohol. And it made me very sad.

A girl and her boyfriend were in my care. She was around 35, single mother of two kids, and her boyfriend was much younger. All through the time I had them, he berated her severely. I was incensed, and she was crying. I won't go into specifics of what he said to her, but he was vicious, mean and unrelenting. She quietly and meekly rebuked him and denied his accusations all while crying. There was some other incoherent drool coming from this neanderthal, and she repeatedly maintained her stance. I was turning red, and so badly wanted to step in and stop this turd from ruining this poor girl's life. I know nothing of them, and in most cases, I don't care. I've seen domestics before, and I tend to stay neutral for obvious reasons. I've never seen someone bring a girl to tears. My only thought was why is she with this douche? But again, It's not my place. Had he raised a hand to her all bets would have been off, I kept watch for that but it never happened.

When I cleared off I talked with my partner and we both were furious about the exchange. It's unbelievable that men will treat women like that, brutal tirades, and in earshot of complete strangers. As middle-aged men we both concluded that we would NEVER treat a woman like that, EVER. And we have taught our children the same thing. NEVER. This knuckle-dragger didn't get the memo.

I know women like the bad boys, the rebels, the rough guys. I don't get that, but hey, I don't fit into that category, so I don't see it. What I do see is a fucktard who treats women like complete shit for his own gain. What does he think he's getting out of this? Why is she with him? Just a pile of WTF questions arose. I was raised to treat woman like gold, to always be a gentleman. Open doors for them, give them my coat if they're chilly, defend them. Treat them above all, like human beings. Treat woman the way I'd want to be treated if I was a woman. 

So answer me this...

Why do women stay with complete asshats? Is it money? Is it sheer physical attraction? Is it the whole bad-ass rebel style? Sorry, but having not ever fallen into that category I can't understand it. I never will. All I understand is that we both wanted to pummel this overcompensating little turd into dust for treating that girl the way he did. Maybe If we had of done that we might have felt better, but of course, we couldn't get involved.

Near the end of the encounter, they walked off together. I don't know how it ended. I hope they settled their differences as most of the issue was caused by drink. I also hope she tossed his sorry ass to the curb. I hope both because I have no idea how or why any of this happened, I'm a fly on the wall with these customers, and that bothers me some days. I can't get involved, I can only hope for a happy ending.

I've seen the other side of the coin as well. I've seen men being wonderful gentlemen to their ladies, and you can see the love in their eyes. It's wonderful to see that, however it is always with the older generations, never the younger. The Millennial and Gen X customers I have treat each other vastly different from boomers every time. Maybe that's why I don't get it. Relationships and people in general are so different from 25 years ago. What's happened? Why have things changed so much in such a short time, and why with all the public information and assistance available to abused women are these people enduring so much?

I can't see it because I'm old school. And a guy. But one thing I realized last night is glaringly simple;

Chivalry is indeed dead.