Sunday 9 February 2020

Lost

Life is strange, a meandering compilation of events.
Seemingly random, without purpose, without order.
Today happens, yesterday is finished, tomorrow is yet to be.
Time is a meaningless frivolity.
What happens at any given moment has purpose at that time,
But tomorrow that purpose gone. Meaningless now.
It's done.

What's in the past is beyond trying to do anything about.
It's tomorrow now that matters.
Even the present is meaningless to adjust as it happens too fast.
Each moment in the present unfolds as fate requires.
The past can hurt you, memories good and bad have meaning.
The moment is gone, but the pain lingers, or the jubilation.
The pain is always there.

It gets into your head, stuck there, like a sore that won't heal.
It gets into your soul and never lets go.
It gets more difficult to deal with the deeper you go into the rabbit hole.
Your mind gets stuck on memories, good or bad.
And you linger there.

Things that were, things that could have been, things that hurt.
Your mind will always remind you of them, whether you want it to or not.
You try to remember good things, fond memories.
Then you realize you don't have them anymore, and it hurts more.
The pain lingers again, deeper now. More afflicting now.
Why couldn't that good memory remain constant now?
Why couldn't it still be that good.
It can, but we don't let it.

We linger on the bad, we long for the good times.
We long for the things we've lost.
Even though we live in the moment of positivity,
The pain of the past keeps the spirit from truly flourishing.
We try, and try again, until it hurts to keep trying.
Then we give up.

But no matter how far we go forward and stay positive,
No matter how much we endeavour to make new positive memories,
The old negatives still flourish there, in your mind, in your heart.
Things that were once upbeat and happy,
Are now painful to recall.
Because we've lost it.

We want it back and we can't have it, that is where the pain comes from.
Tomorrow is another day in a long series of moments in life.
We can only hope that tomorrow brings forth memories that we don't have to suppress.
Like so many others that were once happy.
And now hurt.