Medication Mania

If you haven't been here for a while, well, let's face it, nobody has been here in a while, including me. Anyway, if you have been following this you'll know that I have developed Bipolar Disorder. That's the reason I haven't written for so long. At first I wrote furiously about the new challenges I was facing, about this new road I was on and so forth. Since then I've dwindled off into the twilight of the blogosphere. 

There are many reasons for this, first and foremost being the side effects from my medication. The simple fact is I can't remember the simplest things anymore. As a writer in waiting, that makes putting stories together a slight bit difficult. It drives me nuts when in the middle of a conversation I have to stop and think what word should come next. That never happened before I became more medicated than a tranquillized elephant. 

That all being said I haven't come anywhere near the computer lately, lately meaning about six months. Not a way to keep your readers happy. But I'm not happy either. There was a time where I could spit out stories about almost anything, many of them ending up here. I know I can write so dammit! why can't I put two words together now! 

I have other side effects besides loss of memory, such as constant drowsiness, hallucinations, and other I'd rather not name. They almost make the side effects worse than the disorder itself. 

One thing I do have in my favour is time. Lots of time. Not working has allowed me the time I need to write, however I have found other things to occupy my days. I have chores to do, a big lug of a puppy that needs constant attention, and now that spring is finally here, yard work. Between these I have naps. Many naps. It's hard to make it through the day without them. The puppy is just like a baby - sleep when they sleep. This is a dog who thinks it's name is "no".

My wife has a new mantra - positive spin. When bad things happen, put a positive spin on the situation. Find something, no matter how insignificant, that you can spin into a gain in your favour. This doesn't always work to change your mood but if you try it you'd be surprised. I've used this philosophy lately and find that it really does do you some good. So you see it here, I've gone on about how bad the side effects are and why I can't write as much as I used to. Then the positive spin - talking about my home time and how I can use it to my advantage. I just have to keep the philosophy in the back of my mind at all times. I have to remember that I can do this writing thing. I have to put the side effects away and just do this thing.

The hard part is turning the computer on. The easy part should be changing a white screen into black and white.