Muricans and Americans - A Cultural Comparison

I have several friends either in the US or from there. And believe me I feel for them now. I thought I would offer my thoughts on the reasons behind the current shitshow that is the US elections, from an outsider perspective.

There are two factions at play here, I will endeavour to differentiate them. Please keep in mind I am discussing the people. Not the government. There is a massive difference.

Overall perceptions of Americans are of a normal, intelligent, hard-working people. Americans have dedicated themselves to their place in the world as a whole, being a leader and helping others whenever they can in terms of development, human rights, economics trade and so much more. They have much in common with the rest of the world in that they want what's best for their children, their families and the community as a whole and wish to prosper in a difficult era.

Muricans.

Muricans are a funny breed commonly located in the southern United States and as far west as Texas. They are mixed among the populations of Americans in these regions, and they can be found as far north as Alaska. Some have even been found in Hawaii. 

They are a simple common folk, normally less educated that their American counterparts, and therefore they maintain a different set of views and logic. Simply put, they don't really see education being in their best interest, and prefer instead to simply make shit up as they go, then convince everyone around them they are right.

Muricans can be identified by their overuse of the phrases FREEDOM!!! and BENGHAZI!!! And as muslims refer to the prophet with the phrase 'peace be upon him' or (PBUH) when referenced, Muricans shall be given the same respect with the title (F!B!)

Americans have the second amendment to the constitution that allows for armed militias to help protect the people from all enemies foreign and domestic. This right is honoured as millions of Americans are law abiding gun owners who follow the rules set down by the government.

Muricans (F!B!), love guns and believe the second amendment to the constitution means that the world has to love them too, for having too many guns around is simply the best problem to have. Muricans (F!B!) never have any fear of someone accidentally knocking on their doors during dinner hour and disturbing them (those that have doors) and will actually enjoy the opportunity to second amendment the intruder. They apparently have a quota on how much ammo they can have and must find reasons to expend it whenever possible. This includes shoplifters, J-Walkers, people making bad lane changes.

Muricans (F!B!) also believe the second amendment gives them the right to arm everyone, including children, carry weapons anywhere fully loaded, and basically shoot anything that moves. This notion is backed by the National Rifle Association. The NRA believes that every Murican has the right to their own flame thrower, gattling gun, and piece of artillery. Of course with the proliferation of weapons comes the natural instinct to use them at any opportunity. Gunfire in Murican areas is common, sadly with deadly consequences. More Murican are accidentally killed each year with firearms than all developed countries combined. But that's ok, because freedom.

American culture is rich in sciences, art, music, drama, and many other scholarly pursuits. Americans are the only people to have walked on the moon. Their achievements are notable through their history and no doubt will continue to do so long into the future. The influence of Americans as an economic, intellectual and entertainment powerhouse is evident in the furthest corners of the globe.

Muricans (F!B!) drop science in their last year of school, usually grade 7, or at least stop listening. They prefer instead to get this sort of information from parents while putting the added time to better pursuits such as repainting old cars and cleaning guns. The Murican art community consists largely of redecorating the double wide at the trailer park, and decorating large trucks with humongous American and Confederate flags. Drama and entertainment usually come from supermarket tabloids and variety gossip TV shows. The value Kanya and Kim are not to be understated to the common Murican. Literature is provided by Captain America comic books and websites like Breitbart.com and Rightwingnews.com. 

Americans honour their heroes of society, whether they be academic, scientific, sport, or entertainment with some of the highest accolades. Many Americans have won numerous Nobel Prizes in every category, The Academy Awards, The Kennedy Centre Honours, Medals of Freedom, and many more awards acknowledge outstanding achievements in every field giving hope to those upcoming in their fields to someday stand with their protegees. 

Muricans (F!B!) don't typically honour their heroes, except with the occasional nomination for government office. Recent honourees include Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman, Rick Perry, Mike Huckabee and Donald Trump.

Americans are very enthusiast about sports of all kinds. From major league baseball, to football, hockey and basketball, to equestrian events, tennis, golf, track and field and many more Olympic calibre events. Sports is a major economic driving force in American culture, with billions of dollars of spin off to countless benefactors. Simply, the US economy would shrink considerably with the contribution of sport.

Muricans (F!B!) have NASCAR.

Americans have a level of diplomatic involvement that is admired around the world. The ability to sit down and negotiate problems and help parties find common ground is the stuff of legend. President Carter was the catalyst to peace between Israel and Egypt during his tenure, the only peace treaty in the middle east to have lasted this long. Level headed and driven towards human rights equality, Americans have beaten back oppression on many levels to be a world leader in terms of equality in race, gender, faith, sexual orientation and economic status.

Muricans (F!B!) are usually not as culturally adept. It's usually their way or the highway. Arguing with a Murican can be simply nauseating as they will never accept another belief, opinion or look at any factual proof to the contrary of their own inward beliefs. Don't even try. It will be like arguing with a shoe. They are closed in and frown on outsider influence on their way of life. Bigotry and racism are the norm, and this behaviour is encouraged to the new generations of Muricans. Frankly, you won't find many gay female jewish mexican rich folk among Muricans (F!B!)

Americans have always been a melting pot of faith. The original 13 colonies were settled by emigrants fleeing religious persecution. In the 400 years that followed the original settlers, millions more have landed on US shores under the promise of openly following their faiths. This has made the American society one of the most diverse religious centres on earth.

Muricans (F!B!) are Christians only. Those who practice other faiths are normally doing it underground. Religious tolerance only goes so far.

Finally, The American system of government is based on a multi-party republic system where the congress and the senate have the power to make laws, and the president has the power to veto them, approve them or in rare cases act alone (executive power). This system also works in reverse in that the president can propose a law and congress and senate have the power to approve or disapprove them. This has been mostly effective for 240 years.

Muricans (F!B!) believe that the other guy is always wrong, a crook and should be in prison or shot for treason. Then they will take the other guy's ideas and claim them for their own. Muricans have no original ideas, and rarely contribute to the continued development of the country as a whole. Instead they prefer to make laws of petty natures that have the affect of divided the populous instead of helping it.

So there you have it, a brief overview of a two people system within the United States. 

The haves, and the have no fucking clues. If anyone doubts what's happening here, watch the movie Ideocracy.

Cheers.

The Continuing Evolution Of Me

I'm sure by now readers are tired of hearing about my hopes and dreams, my reaffirmations and stated goals. 

So here's another one.

Since Kim and I split last August my life has changed into something completely different, and sorta weird. It's a surreal sort of existence now, living in my basement apartment while my sister's family lives in the rest of my house. I'm getting used to it, however, Joanne and I are siblings, and with that brings back and flurry of childhood issues some of which remind me of the old children's standard 'get out of my room!' We get along, but at the end of the day, we will always drive each other nuts. I still love her like a big sis.

Being down here in recent months has brought up many challenges, and my mind has not always been up to the task of maintaining a healthy life. Too much time alone, too much time to think. Last week I had an epiphany. it came to me while working on some repairs outside. It came to me when I tried to stand up, and almost fell over. It came to me as I gasped for breath from working.

Holy fuck, I'm falling apart!

I came inside, soaked my head with a cold wet towel, and fell onto the couch, thankful to be there in my place of solitude and comfort. As I regained my breath and dried off, I googled 24 hour gyms and an hour later was a member of one. Just a little spontaneous, yes, but that short time between falling over with a feeling of morbid exhaustion over a simple task and sending my payment, a whirlwind of thoughts went through my head - most of which focused on my not being here if something doesn't change. So I made it change.

Years ago I was healthy, active, fit. I was an avid camper, canoeist, and general outdoorsy type. While I was never one for a football field or basketball court, I was always on my bike, walking for hours, and a host of other activities that kept me from keeling over. At one time I was taking karate and Aikkido classes regularly just to stay fit. When I went working, I kept myself together long enough to finish any task.

I was never a big guy, I always maintained a steady 160ish throughout my adult life. Being skinny was never a drawback for me as I just simply accepted the way of things, now, as I sit here writing this, my gut is actually sticking out. So now I'm a skinny, out of shape smoker with a beer belly. 

Nope. Nope. Nope.

I went to the gym for the first time a couple days ago and did a 30 minute basic cardio workout. It was fine, nothing spectacular or fancy, no personal training needed. Just a few basic machines like the treadmill, the bike, elliptical and strength trainers. After my 30 minutes were up I walked out feeling alive, albeit a bit sore. Last night I went in again. I had the place to myself as it was quite late. This time however no sense of exhilaration filled me, on the contrary it was a sense of dread. Suddenly those simple machines were all larger, darker, and were actually mocking me. They watched me as if they were alive, and I know they thought 'we're going to kill you!'

So I started my 30 minute regime. I lasted 24. The first night shocked my body, the second night, I hadn't recovered from the first and the pain was intense. As I mustered through the somewhat tedious repetitions every muscle in my body screamed at me with a sort of 'what the fuck' notion. I carried on as long as I could but I was cooked. Once I got home I felt a little better, breathing returned to normal, heart rate came down, but that glass of scotch was the heaviest it's ever been. I swear that bottle weighed 20 pounds.

A little later I went outside for a smoke, and the second epiphany of the week hit me. I CANNOT do this without quitting. Duh. Not like I didn't already know that. I was wheezing and coughing a lot last night, and again all day today. The unexpected shock of working out had jarred something loose, and I don't imagine it's very pretty. So starting tonight I am going on the patch and quitting. Fuck this, I'm done.

If I am to fix this shit, I am going to fix it properly.

Healthy lifestyle, healthy eating, working out, quitting smoking, it all sounds like one of those late night self-help TV shows that nobody watches, but it just happened. And all because I had to repair some concrete.

Cheers.