Evaluation

I'm evaluating my career. I'm looking at whether or not change is needed to improve my state of mind. I'm looking at something different.

Sometimes change can be beneficial, and then again, it can really mess you up if you go about it the wrong way. If I do this, I risk messing up whatever stability I have. But on the flipside it the benefits to such a drastic move could really help. It could give me hope for my mental well being, and bring up my spirits which will help me fix the other issues I've got - I'm still reeling from the past year and all the misery it brought. The events of the past week at work have been right up there with the crappy days I experienced of late. It's time to change all that.

Should I change my profession completely? Print production is really all I know, and it's a niche market, so I don't know how to progress in that field without leaving town. I don't like that option. I could look outside my comfort zone into areas that are somewhat related, but the uncertainty of that scares me. Fear is a powerful motivator at times, but with my current job still there, I'm not afraid enough to follow this path. I still have a paycheque, and as long as I deal with the crap, I will for quite a while to come.

I thought about going completely freelance, but that's not exactly solid. I can't budget on a hope. Believe me, I've been there, it's not fun. I like doing freelance graphics, the idea of working from home on my terms, with no boss and no pressure gets me quite perked, but again, it' s a huge risk unless you've managed to build a huge customer base. I haven't. I have a few clients, but not enough to pay the bills.

What about a complete direction change? Why not going after something I've never done before? Again, fear is a motivator; I'm afraid of losing the stability for something untried. I'd like to, but feeding my kids trumps the excitement and adrenaline rush of a new challenge.

Then there's always the lottery.

I think I'll wait it out for now, and see what arises. I do have that option. The only real rush is to fix my frame of mind; to keep me out of the loony bin. I have what Kim didn't last year when things got tough - a choice. She took a job she wasn't sure of and really didn't like because we had no choice. At least I still have a paycheque. That's positive, and I'll take it, but I'll open my mind to new things. A career change at 41? A decade or two ago it was unheard of, not now. I have to keep that in mind. Who knows - maybe I'll finally get my dream job!

In other news, the disaster in Haiti has amazed me in the past few days. It amazes me that such a small country that could easily fly under the world's radar, has motivated the same world to help. With all the turmoil we face in our lives, all the worry and fear we experience every day, this country has made us all realize we are extremely lucky and should thank God every day for what we have. Even when we have nothing, we have so much. The people of Haiti have nothing, and now their nothing has been destroyed. It's not fair that these people who have overcome so much pain and heartache since their independence just can't catch a break. It's only right that we help them. And we will continue to help them.

When the earthquake hit we heard about a retired Windsor priest - Father Rene Giroux, was missing, thankfully, he's safe. But that still leaves over 1,000 Canadians missing. With luck, they will all be found, but reality dictates that there may be more Canadians who will not come home. These are people who for one reason or another found themselves in a place with nothing to offer but despair. In the case of Father Giroux, he went there to try to change that. I'm sure that the lives he affected in his time there will thank him, maybe their lives are slightly less desperate with his help. Hopefully, the international aid effort will lessen the despair.

So I start the week with new direction in mind; renewing my own hope for future successes. Similarly, many in Haiti are thinking the same thing.

Cheers.

On the Road Again

For the fifth time in a year and a half, I'm moving offices. Next week I uproot my new digs in Tecumseh and move to Kingsville. Just me. Nobody else.

That just sucks.

I hate the idea. But even more than that, I hate that first of all; everyone knew before I did, and secondly, no matter how much I bug my boss, he isn't saying shit about it. Just that I'm going, and that's that. It's really not fair to me, I bust my ass in there and he treats me like something he scraped off his shoe. Really, why should I be excited about this?

I'm going to be the prepress person. I'm going to output all film for our press. That means being the middle man between our press people and the customers. If anything goes wrong with the files being sent for printing, it stops at me. Theoretically. I also will work towards updating the current technological situation in that office - bringing the people there into the twentieth century. We'll work on the twenty-first down the road. Finally on top of this, I'm bringing one of my magazines with me that I am solely responsible for every month, and still maintaining the IT for the company. This I get. I'm the production manager, hence I should manage to be where production happens.

That's about where my excitement ends. Kingsville is a one-hour commute. That's adding almost one hour and 45 minutes to my day. I also drive an SUV. Gas is going to kill me. I also am going to be cubicle dweller. I'm losing my office, which is not a big deal, but I will miss the privacy of being able to close my door and put some music on. No more. I will be in a 5'x5' cube with little more than a desk and a ton of noise. New people too, some I'm looking forward to working with, others I will take a wait and see attitude to.

I talked to someone down there today, in the early planning stages of the transfer. This person already has my duties laid out, most of it concerns this person's work, which is waiting for me. My response to this is NO. The argument started already. They don't realize that I'm coming there for very specific reasons - not to take over their work, but to enhance the abilities of the department. It made me wonder something - If I do your work, then do my work, on top of commuting two hours per day, what exactly are you planning on doing? Uh, that's right - nothing. I'll be damned if I'm putting in 50-60 hours per week doing other people's stuff. Nope. not gonna happen. This aught to be fun. Sometimes being the manager really does mean shit. People will push you for their own gains anyway.

I work well with the press manager, and the sales manager. The other people there are good folks, one is the mayor of the town, and County Warden, and is running for federal politics in the next election. One is the former owner of the company who stayed on after the parent company bought her out. And there are others, all local Kingsville people. I've been associating with them since the takeover, and have rarely had any complaints or issues. However only being a transient in that office has always disuaded the tendency to prolong any disagreement. Being there all the time my change that. There are those there who don't take well to change. They like the status quo, and part of my mandate is to break the status quo. I can see the approaching storm.

And I better invest in a raincoat.

Cheers.