Evaluation

I'm evaluating my career. I'm looking at whether or not change is needed to improve my state of mind. I'm looking at something different.

Sometimes change can be beneficial, and then again, it can really mess you up if you go about it the wrong way. If I do this, I risk messing up whatever stability I have. But on the flipside it the benefits to such a drastic move could really help. It could give me hope for my mental well being, and bring up my spirits which will help me fix the other issues I've got - I'm still reeling from the past year and all the misery it brought. The events of the past week at work have been right up there with the crappy days I experienced of late. It's time to change all that.

Should I change my profession completely? Print production is really all I know, and it's a niche market, so I don't know how to progress in that field without leaving town. I don't like that option. I could look outside my comfort zone into areas that are somewhat related, but the uncertainty of that scares me. Fear is a powerful motivator at times, but with my current job still there, I'm not afraid enough to follow this path. I still have a paycheque, and as long as I deal with the crap, I will for quite a while to come.

I thought about going completely freelance, but that's not exactly solid. I can't budget on a hope. Believe me, I've been there, it's not fun. I like doing freelance graphics, the idea of working from home on my terms, with no boss and no pressure gets me quite perked, but again, it' s a huge risk unless you've managed to build a huge customer base. I haven't. I have a few clients, but not enough to pay the bills.

What about a complete direction change? Why not going after something I've never done before? Again, fear is a motivator; I'm afraid of losing the stability for something untried. I'd like to, but feeding my kids trumps the excitement and adrenaline rush of a new challenge.

Then there's always the lottery.

I think I'll wait it out for now, and see what arises. I do have that option. The only real rush is to fix my frame of mind; to keep me out of the loony bin. I have what Kim didn't last year when things got tough - a choice. She took a job she wasn't sure of and really didn't like because we had no choice. At least I still have a paycheque. That's positive, and I'll take it, but I'll open my mind to new things. A career change at 41? A decade or two ago it was unheard of, not now. I have to keep that in mind. Who knows - maybe I'll finally get my dream job!

In other news, the disaster in Haiti has amazed me in the past few days. It amazes me that such a small country that could easily fly under the world's radar, has motivated the same world to help. With all the turmoil we face in our lives, all the worry and fear we experience every day, this country has made us all realize we are extremely lucky and should thank God every day for what we have. Even when we have nothing, we have so much. The people of Haiti have nothing, and now their nothing has been destroyed. It's not fair that these people who have overcome so much pain and heartache since their independence just can't catch a break. It's only right that we help them. And we will continue to help them.

When the earthquake hit we heard about a retired Windsor priest - Father Rene Giroux, was missing, thankfully, he's safe. But that still leaves over 1,000 Canadians missing. With luck, they will all be found, but reality dictates that there may be more Canadians who will not come home. These are people who for one reason or another found themselves in a place with nothing to offer but despair. In the case of Father Giroux, he went there to try to change that. I'm sure that the lives he affected in his time there will thank him, maybe their lives are slightly less desperate with his help. Hopefully, the international aid effort will lessen the despair.

So I start the week with new direction in mind; renewing my own hope for future successes. Similarly, many in Haiti are thinking the same thing.

Cheers.

On the Road Again

For the fifth time in a year and a half, I'm moving offices. Next week I uproot my new digs in Tecumseh and move to Kingsville. Just me. Nobody else.

That just sucks.

I hate the idea. But even more than that, I hate that first of all; everyone knew before I did, and secondly, no matter how much I bug my boss, he isn't saying shit about it. Just that I'm going, and that's that. It's really not fair to me, I bust my ass in there and he treats me like something he scraped off his shoe. Really, why should I be excited about this?

I'm going to be the prepress person. I'm going to output all film for our press. That means being the middle man between our press people and the customers. If anything goes wrong with the files being sent for printing, it stops at me. Theoretically. I also will work towards updating the current technological situation in that office - bringing the people there into the twentieth century. We'll work on the twenty-first down the road. Finally on top of this, I'm bringing one of my magazines with me that I am solely responsible for every month, and still maintaining the IT for the company. This I get. I'm the production manager, hence I should manage to be where production happens.

That's about where my excitement ends. Kingsville is a one-hour commute. That's adding almost one hour and 45 minutes to my day. I also drive an SUV. Gas is going to kill me. I also am going to be cubicle dweller. I'm losing my office, which is not a big deal, but I will miss the privacy of being able to close my door and put some music on. No more. I will be in a 5'x5' cube with little more than a desk and a ton of noise. New people too, some I'm looking forward to working with, others I will take a wait and see attitude to.

I talked to someone down there today, in the early planning stages of the transfer. This person already has my duties laid out, most of it concerns this person's work, which is waiting for me. My response to this is NO. The argument started already. They don't realize that I'm coming there for very specific reasons - not to take over their work, but to enhance the abilities of the department. It made me wonder something - If I do your work, then do my work, on top of commuting two hours per day, what exactly are you planning on doing? Uh, that's right - nothing. I'll be damned if I'm putting in 50-60 hours per week doing other people's stuff. Nope. not gonna happen. This aught to be fun. Sometimes being the manager really does mean shit. People will push you for their own gains anyway.

I work well with the press manager, and the sales manager. The other people there are good folks, one is the mayor of the town, and County Warden, and is running for federal politics in the next election. One is the former owner of the company who stayed on after the parent company bought her out. And there are others, all local Kingsville people. I've been associating with them since the takeover, and have rarely had any complaints or issues. However only being a transient in that office has always disuaded the tendency to prolong any disagreement. Being there all the time my change that. There are those there who don't take well to change. They like the status quo, and part of my mandate is to break the status quo. I can see the approaching storm.

And I better invest in a raincoat.

Cheers.

Prime Minister Harper is a Fucktard

We elected a fucktard.

I really don't think I'm saying anything here that most people don't already know, however, the fact that he's the PM at all is an indication that he does have his followers. But his decision to yet again prorogue parliament (for the second time in a year) is probably not earning him many more fans.

I normally don't jump into political opinions, I'm more or less apathetic when it comes to it - I don't really think it matters who's in power - they all mess it up eventually. To me it's just a matter of how long it takes before they do something really stupid that raises the public's ire. Harper managed to do that a little quicker than his predecessors. It sucks to say this but the only effective political system (however flawed and stupid) is totalitarian. The democratic system that we enjoy is plagued by issues that prevent governance. In-fighting, constant attempts to derail opposition (sound familiar?), and public scorn essentially stop the process.

I'm not telling anyone anything they don't already know. Nor is announcing that Harper is fucktard news. This guy has proved time and time again that he's an arrogant, self-centred and self-serving prick. From day one when the press caught him shaking his son's hand on the first day of school instead of any fatherly show of affection, we've known this man is a robot with a programming error.

This video is from the last time he prorogued parliament. I'm sure Air Farce will have fun with this one too.

It's not uncommon for parliament to be suspended for major national events, the olympics are no exception. However, the Harper has taken this opportunity to throw EVERY piece of pending legislation out the window. When you prorogue parliament, the session ends. Period. Everything starts over. Everything from the majority opposition pending debate. Every parliamentary committee stops, every back-bencher legislation (which won't get in anyway, but still has a place). Harper has shut it all down with the excuse that it's more important for MPs to attend a hockey game or see some figure skaters than govern the country.

Harper's not stupid in one respect - he's found a way around his minority disfunction. If you can't beat 'em - prorogue 'em. He can't pass anything of his own by the majority opposition, and the opposition bills on progress will pass with or without him. So get 'em all cancelled! The funny thing is the date parliament is coming back is the day before the budget is due out. That means there will be no budget consultations. No meetings, no input of any kind. This guy is too much. He's an arrogant ass who thinks that he's pulling the wool over the voter's eyes. It would really surprise me though, if there is any fallout. Nothing will happen, the voters themselves as a majority are still a trusting lot who think that there must be a reason for it all. Yeah, there is - Harper has just prolonged his government for another three months.

At any time the opposition can call a vote of non-confidence. All they need is a consensus among the opposition parties (harder than you think with one of the largest being the separatists). Did Harper see some writing on the wall with upcoming legislation? Did he get worried about the vote? Not likely. He's seen the opposition's track record of late - they can't get it together either. Between the lot of them we have the most ineffective parliament in the history of this country. Think about it - when have we ever seen a minority government that has free reign as if they control the whole house, just because of back room deals and an opposition with no teeth?

So the party goes on. The business of the house stops until March. The Governor General gives Harper his way (she really didn't have to, but I think she was afraid of the repercussions of saying no to the request to prorogue). The opposition will take the time to come up with yet another ineffective strategy to oust Harper and his government, and of course, fail. Harper will squeal with delight about the fact that he gets to be the Prime Minister for another session. This arrogant ass has stopped the business of the country because of his own narcissism.

Can you think of a better reason for him to be voted out than not doing the job he was elected for? I think even hardcore supporters of Harper will agree to that.

Puking at the Hockey Game

Yesterday my daughter's class sang the National Anthem at the Windsor Spitfires game. Only one little hickup - she was sent home from school not feeling very well. I came home from work to attend to her, she complained of a headache and upset stomach. After about an hour at home, she rushed the bathroom and let her lunch go. Everything settled down, she lay down to rest and I flopped on the couch, wondering what to do with 3 Spitfire tickets.

At about 5, she told me she felt fine, so I had to make the decision on whether or not to let her go with her class. Her brother had the chance when he was in grade 4 to sing at the barn, and I wouldn't want to deprive her of the same honour, what to do? We decided that it probably wouldn't be any harm to go, sing, and leave. So we bundled up and headed out.

On the way, we picked up another classmate (I told her mother I would be fine taking her with us as she had no desire to see a hockey game), and hit the road. Last night we finally got snow - and this city shut down. What should have been a 15 minute drive to the arena took almost an hour. Tecumseh Road, normally flows at 60kph, was crawling along at 20. Nasty drive.

The kids were supposed to be a the community rink doors no later than 6:20 - they were locking those doors after that. We pulled up at 6:18. I told my son to take the girls in and get them settled backstage, then go find his seat while I park the car. The WFCU is a nice place, but parking was kind of an afterthought. I was closer to Lauzon Road than the arena, and in the snow I couldn't see where I was heading without a bloody compass. It took 15 minutes to walk back to the arena, then to find my seat. I finally sat down at 6:58, the game started at 7:05.

Everything started fine, there was a banner ceremony for the returning World Junior Players (6 of them), then the kids sang the anthem. Unfortunately I was on the far side of the place with a crappy camera, so I didn't get a very good shot of them.

The game started with the usual fanfare. About 10 minutes later, my daughter and my other charge found us, and sat down. The girl we brought along had never seen a live hockey game before, so she was of course, full of questions. Like a kid in a candy store. I asked my daughter how she felt, and received a thumbs up, so the game was on. Saginaw opened it up, scoring twice in the first 8 minutes. Not a good sign for the reigning Memorial Cup champions, or the returning World Junior Silver Medallists! They were playing sloppy. My daughter's friends all found their seats - the school had an entire section set aside for us.

When the period ended, my daughter informed me she had to use the bathroom. I tried to relate to her just how many people were currently doing exactly that, but she insisted and started climbing over me.

Too late.

She puked.

Right there, in the stands. All over herself and the coat of the poor kid in front of us. He wasn't in the coast at the time - he headed downstairs without it.

Now, I know what I felt like as the parent of a sick child at a hockey game, I can only imagine the embarrassment of my daughter. Standing there, covered in her lunch (which was something orange, apparently). She was on the verge of tears as I grabbed whatever I could to wipe the mess off this poor kid's coat, while apologizing to everyone around me. We got out of Dodge. Quick.

On our way down, the women in front of me is talking to an usher explaining something along the lines of 'clean up in aisle S'

When we got downstairs, I had to find a bathroom to clean her, but it was intermission. The medic's office was conveniently placed in our path - so we beelined for it. The medic took great care of us and helped me clean her up, wash her glasses, etc. After signing a form indicating they didn't just watch the game all night, the medic offered more help - she sat with the kids while I would trek out for the car. On the way out the door I told an usher what had happened, and he told me to bring the car right up. Off I went, about a 20 minute round trip. When I got back the girls were ready at the door with the medic. With a wave we loaded up and took off.

The only good thing about leaving when we did was not fighting the 5,000 other cars heading for the exits at the same time at game's end. Traffic was lighter going home. We dropped the friend off within a half hour, and then came home. My daughter headed straight for bed.

In the arena, the friend offered my daughter a piece of mint candy cane - it's supposed to sooth stomachs as her mother told me. What I didn't realize is that one became four. Much to my insistance to the contrary, the girls were sitting there snacking on them. I didn't realize it at the time. I'm fairly certain I know why she tossed her cookies in the stands.

So that's my story of a little girl and a hockey game. Today, she's still home sick, and I'm sitting with her. I hope she feels better soon.

And to the little boy who's coat left with some additional features, I AM SOOOO SORRY!

I will never know who it is, but I will always have the guilt.

Cheers.

PS - I'd love to post the pics from last night, but someone lost the camera transfer cord, again.

Heros

As I watched 5 flag-draped coffins loaded onto hearses at CFB Trenton the other day on the news, the voices went through my head again - bring our troops home from Afganistan. As I watched those family members crying and loosing it at the sight of their loved ones returning home I briefly agreed with the cries of home.

Those who disagree with our mission in Afganistan need to understand one thing - we're there and we're damn proud of it. Get over it.

We may not have the most troops in that country, only 2,800, but we've taken our share of the danger. Canada has sent her troops into the most dangerous part of the country - Kandahar Province - to help rebuild the infrastructure and quell the Taliban rising, and yes, we WILL take casualties. That's inevitable. We are there to support a NATO mandate to rebuild the place, who after 30 years of constant warfare kinda deserve a break. These people deserve to live in peace. To those who say that it's not our place to make that happen at the expense of our soldiers and civilians being casualties, understand this - The Taliban doesn't differentiate between Canadians and Americans. They will kill our people regardless.

We are in Kandahar suffering losses, the Americans are virtually everywhere else, suffering losses, other NATO allies are in the more secure northern areas suffering very little losses. There are many allies there that are afraid to move into the more volatile areas because they also see the ramp ceremonies. Boo hoo.

Canada has always been a fighting country. Just because our cold-war role as peacekeepers is engrained in our minds, doesn't make us peacekeepers, that just happens to be the role we played for those years, in the Golan Heights, Cyprus, Sinai, and other places around the world. We spent the cold war keeping warring parties from starting up again. But we were never afraid to shoot back.

In WWI Canada took Vimy Ridge when the British and French couldn't. In WWII we took part in raids and campaigns that others said were suicide and couldn't be done, we were there when the shit hit the fan, and we lost soldiers, who are now immortalized as heros. In Korea, and Kosovo, and now in Afghanistan. We are there because we have a long tradition of helping where it's needed. We also know when to get it done. Hopefully, this time we will.

I've worn the uniform, and I've seen many of my friends serve overseas in many operations, and every one is proud to do it. Right now we're following one particular friend in Kandahar, and we hold our breath when we here bad news. He's proud and he should be. It's not just the medals, it's the honour. It's the tradition of knowing you are doing a small part to keep the world and Canada in particular a safer place. It's also the honour of knowing that as one of the richest countries in the world, we did our part to help a poor country to stand up and be counted. We are helping kids go to school, helping farmers plant crops to sell in the markets, helping doctors treat those in need, helping the country stand up and shove the Taliban back into the cave they crawled out of. This organization is bent on destroying the place and any non-muslims. That's just wrong, and any of the 138 Canadian soldiers and 2 civilians who have died there will tell you they were there to prove it.

So to the naysayers who are tired of seeing coffins offloaded from military transport planes - Stand up or shut up. Grab a C7 and a flak jacket and help your country, or if it bothers you that much, turn away and put your tail between your legs like the cowards that you are.

Our heroes have come home.