More Summer is almost over

Normally summer ending would be a time of strange sorrow, normally the fall creeping in would play havoc with my mental state. Not this year, Hell, I'm glad it's almost over.

This summer sucked.

From unemployment blues to my father passing away, to a ruined canoe trip, to my son being gone for a month, (he's on his way to San Francisco now), to problems at work, to our reunion being cancelled for lack of interest, you name it, this has been one sucking summer. Please end it.

About the only we've managed to accomplish this summer is getting rid of the mounds of garbage left over by the city worker strike in the Spring. Yippee.

Kim got a call yesterday about a job - her dream job. She is setting up the interview today. I hope it works out, she sounds so unbelievably happy about this, there's only one catch - It's in another town and she doesn't drive. So transportation WILL be a huge issue. I have always been on Kim about getting her license, but she hates driving, so why waste the money. Ironically her first words to me yesterday were "how long does it take to get a license?" Damn, this job must sound great if she's changing her mind after 20 years! So she will go for it, and hopefully the transport issue will sort itself out. There's an E-Bike for sale from a friend of ours, she could also get lucky and carpool with someone, who knows. First things first, go for the interview. The worst that could happen is she doesn't figure out the problem, which she is already prepared for.

The best thing about this is the call. The first of many resumes she has put out. It lifted her spirits high, and gave her something to smile about. Maybe the recession is over? Maybe people are loosening up the strings and hiring again? Who knows, but it can't happen at a better time - the end of the shitty summer.

Maybe fall will bring new hope. We'll have everyone home again, kids will be getting ready for school, Kim may be working again, my job may clarify itself, my state of mind will calm down and become clear, the grief over dad will reside, maybe the cat's eye will even clear up. We can go forward now hoping the worst is behind us, we survived the storm and maybe we'll come ahead stronger and more unified as a family. I hope.

As things change and some things get back to 'normal', I have one lingering thought. I will never be 'normal' again. I have now lost both my parents, and now I have to be the adult. I can't play the role of a son anymore, now I have to be the responsibly adult. That kinda sucks, but that's the roll of the dice, and I have to play it out. It will take time to learn this new role and I will make mistakes along the way, the way an actor takes time to learn his lines. I know my family will be there for me when I stumble, but I will come out of this a stronger person, husband, brother and father. Positive attitude is paramount. I spent my summer feeling myself slipping into the abyss, and as I look back I wonder why? I came through it all, what was the problem? Why was I worried, but then again, did I have reason not to be?

There are many in the world who have suffered so much more. Many people have lost their homes, their families, even the clothes on their backs. There is so much suffering out in the world and when you put things into context, this summer was a mosquito bite on life. Nothing more.

So here we go into fall. With my head held high we will prevail. We will get our shit together and get back to work, back to school, back home, back to love and caring, back to friendship, back to normal. At least that's the plan.

I turn 41 at the end of September, I'm not a kid anymore, however much I like to play one in real life. By that time I want the summer behind me. I want things fixed.

I want normal, or some sort of normal.

Cheers.